This is also an old post that I never published (what was my deal?! lol)... oh well... here it is:
It's been a while since I've blogged, did ya miss me?! lol ;-) I can honestly say I missed it... And I'm happy life slowed me down a bit so I could reflect on the last 5 months. In the process of working, taking care of a family, going to school, and planning a most fabulous wedding, I have managed to catch a cold that knocked me down for going on 5 days now.
My problem is I do not know how to be still. Boredom drives me crazy, and I hate wasting time. I have 'busy-body syndrome' lol.... yeah I just made that up. Everytime I get sick, I always know it's because I need to stop, and get back in touch with what matters the most. It's not my job that matters, it's not money that matters, it's not anything materialistic... what matters the most is my family and my spiritual health.
I relate my spiritual health to my physical health a lot because I believe, what is within, shows itself in our physical health. This is not the case all the time, but for me, it is the case most of the time. I get these things called cluster headaches, and if you don't know what they are, all you need to know is that you never want to have them lol. The entire time I dealt with this, I kept asking God to take the pain away, I mean like really attempting to bargain with God. Make a long story short... It didn't go away when I asked it to, the attack ran its course.
This couldn't have happened at a better time... I was less than 2 months away from my wedding date!! At the time, I wondered if the attack would last until June. What if I can't walk down the aisle? What if my dress doesn't fit anymore? What if... what if... what if. Then I heard... 'You'll still get married.' It didn't matter if I couldn't walk down the aisle, my dress didn't matter, the flowers didn't matter, none of it mattered... because I was still getting married. The only thing that mattered was me pledging my love for the man God created for me, and joyously accepting my role as the woman God created for him. We were fearfully and wonderfully made ... and instead of focusing on the pain, I focused on the love I felt from my family and the beautiful life ahead of us.
*SPOILER ALERT* (LOL) Our wedding day was perfect. When I woke up that morning, I could feel something big happening spiritually, I could feel that I was forming a bond that was sent by God, and that would always be led by God. I'm so thankful and could not have asked for a better husband. I love that man with all my heart and soul, and don't plan on changing that!
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